|Does not have an app that automatically mutes the mic when you start to sound stupid.|
Instead: wild, verbal flailing.
Is it weirder:
1) to just stagger my way through to some sort of cobbled together end? Like, "Anyway, my next pap smear isn't until February, so just give me a call back about that retaining wall for our yard whenever you can."
2) make the rewinding-a-cassette-tape noise and start again from the beginning?
3) Stop, and say, "I feel like I'm veering off track here. What I really meant to say was, Hi my name is Erin and I'm inquiring about your carpentry services. Please give me a call at your first opportunity."
4) hang up mid-sentence, call again, and use an alternate voice to leave a more appropriate message?
Perhaps the simple fact that I wrote this list with these options gives you some insight into how bad I am on the phone.
Edited to add: I just got a call back from the first contractor I left a message for today—the message that wasn't a total gaffe—and it was the guy's wife calling to tell me he had a heart attack and died two weeks ago. So. I'm hanging up the telephone now, literally and metaphorically.