Sunday, June 2

Inexpert Backpedaling: a comedy of manners

We've been working on manners with Ethan lately because for some reason he's been backsliding. What was once, "Mommy, can I have some juice?" devolved to, "Mommy get me juice." When it should really be, "Mommy, may I please have some juice and have I told you how great your hair looks?"

Last week was a bit of a rocky patch, reprogramming-wise (Me: "Hey Ethan..." Ethan: "WHAT? I mean, what sir?") but this week he's done great. All I have to do is the Mom Eyebrow Raise to get his manners in check if they start to drift.

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This evening I asked Noah if he changed Oliver's diaper last night. Background: I told the Internet that Oliver was doing great sleeping, so he started waking up every few hours again to comfort nurse just to make me look the fool.

Watching Baby Einstein First Signs at zero dark thirty because getting up at dawn is a great joke.
Last night I instituted a Daddy Comfort Policy for when the baby wakes up and I know for a fact he doesn't need to eat, because if I'm the one trying to comfort him, it becomes all about the you-know-whats, and I'm like, Hey kid, I'm up here. Also, GO TO SLEEP.

So. This evening I asked Noah if he changed Oliver's diaper last night while he was up with him. Let me rephrase. I sang, "Did you change his bum in the night?" to the tune of Norah Jones's "Come Away With Me." ("Or did yoooou leeeeet hiiiiiiiim stay we-ey-ey-ey-eeeeeet?")

Noah: "How do you do that?"
Me: "I can't explain. It's just comic genius."
Ethan: "I'M a genius. I'm better than you!"
Me: [eyebrow raise]
Ethan: "I mean, I'm better than you, smart. Smarter."
Me: "..."
Ethan: "I mean, I'm better smarter than you."
Me: "..."
Ethan: "I'm just better and smarter. Okay?"
Me: "..."
Ethan: "Don't mess with me." [exeunt]

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Overheard, Ethan to our neighbor out working on his truck...

"Heeeeey! Man! Um, hey Man! It's going to start raining so you'd better be quick!"

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Omg hilarious!!! And Molly regressed after I announced to the internet that she was walking. She promptly sat down and raised her arms to the heavens in hopes that she'd never have to use those chubby legs again. Then I wrote an email stating that she stopped walking due to laziness issues, and I'm not sure where she is finding internet-accessible devices to spy on me, but now she's walking again. Hopefully confessing Oliver's lack of sleep to the internet will make it revert back to the way it once was. Here's to hoping, girl!!!

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