Sunday, August 12

What we talk about

After Cody yoinked some chocolate off the table

Noah: Where's Cody?
Me: He's over here.
Noah: Is he still breathing? Is his heart still beating?
Me: I dunno. I only took his rectal temperature.
Noah: I keep telling you, that's not as important as you think it is.

*

On going to Victoria's Secret to buy some new bras with a coupon

Noah: I hope you know I'm not going in there with you.
Me: Why not?
Noah: I'm not going to be your trophy husband.
Me: "Look at this ladies. This is why I buy stuff in here."

*

When he came home from a run to the grocery store and found this on his side of the bed



Noah: Is this some sort of message?
Me: No...I was gathering things up around the house that were left places they didn't belong and thought I'd just set them here for now.

*

Regarding a CPR instructor's illustration of panicking when personal emergencies arise

Noah: He woke up and his wife was unresponsive next to him, and the first person he called was his father-in-law.
Me: Just like you when I had my gallbladder attack.
Noah: Right. But then he called 911 so it was okay.
Me: Oh good.
Noah: I mean, she died.
Me: What?!
Noah: But she was already dead. There was nothing he could have done.

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