Monday, March 19

Lines written about a gyrating preschooler

There's a ghost hanging around, and he's been provoking Ethan into saying and doing things he's not supposed to, like saying "You betta shut yo mouf."

With a growing vocabulary comes an ever-greater arsenal of malapropisms:
  • "the baste" for "the [Navy] base"
  • "uzeemee" for "museum"
  • "sunscream" for "sunscreen"
Increased life experience--I mean, we've been through nearly three months of preschool--means increased attitude and personality experimentation. He's developed this weird, hyper giggle that he'd never done before, and he's started throwing around different names for us, including Mom and Dad, Silly Pants, Silly Hair, and Jose. (That's a combo for ya; he's malapropped the expression "No way, Jose," and instead just uses the standalone "Jose" whenever he's feeling sassy., E.g. "Come on, Jose!" or "No I didn't, Jose.")

He's been more open with his dance moves lately. His hips are loose and his buns are a-shakin. He even busted a few moves at a street festival we went to this weekend. A couple Friday nights ago when Noah had watch duty, we spent a good amount of time dancing to the samba background track on my keyboard.

Today was his first day of spring break (Lord help me) and I took him to yoga with me.*

* Yeah, the gyms on base offer free group fitness classes, and I started taking advantage of them last week. That's called ACHIEVEMENT.

I was a little worried about what might happen, but he was pretty good. He did some light weightlifting with a couple half-pound dumbbells during warm ups, he took the opportunity to crawl under me during down-dog, and in a couple of particularly challenging star poses he inched his face so close to mine I could feel his breath against my nose as he whispered "I love you" sotto voce. As the instructor was leading us through a brief guided meditation at the end of class, I had to use all my willpower not to crush my visualized heart lotus as he blew rather loud and sloppy kisses in my direction.

The instructor and my fellow classmates were super accommodating, praising his goodness and whatnot. However when the gym director approached me after class to say they have a policy against bringing children, I could have karate chopped her. Was she professional and nice about it? Yes. But don't nobody tell my baby he can't be somewhere.

And for your edification, here's a video of me doing my daily yoga:



Kat said...

Wow! I almost didn't recognize you in that video. Are you doing something different with your hair?

Slamdunk said...

Samba track--haha. When I was left with young twins at my in-laws we would go in the basement and dork with his keyboard tracks. My dancing never improved though.

Erin said...

Kat--Good guess! It must be my new conditioner. Suave Endless Sunshine.

Slam--The prerecorded tracks are the best part about owning a keyboard. I think no matter what, it'll always feel like the 80s when playing one.

Anonymous said...

I fret he will forget me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stephanie said...

so, in the video, how did you keep from getting a wedgie?

Anonymous said...

You will have a great record of Ethan's funny words when it comes time to decide what to say at his rehearsal dinner.

Uncle Nick would say billfallet for billfold + wallet, lickup for lipstick + makeup, fruit cottontail, and a-lume-bi-um foy. Mimi

Noah said One, two, three, sor, sive, but that's all I can remember. I blame it on Second Baby Syndrome.

Third Baby Syndrome is even worse. The doctor threatened to throw snakes in the room to make me go home.

Anonymous said...

I don't remember that tattoo.

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