Monday, October 11

As if *my* neuroses weren't enough to deal with

Lately I've been trading blows with Self-Defeating Erin on a number of issues (popularity, writing skills, attractiveness levels, what to have for dinner, one Benadryl tablet or two), so I've had little energy left to expend in stopping Bonnie from digging holes at random locations in the backyard. The only real danger is not seeing one and stepping in it.

At least that was the only danger, until yesterday. Bonnie found something.



It's a piece of wood. That is obviously part of a hatch. Leading to a nuclear fallout shelter.

I haven't dug the rest of it up yet, mainly because I don't know what I'll say to the psychotic who's been holed up down there for several decades. I mean, what can you say? "Good news, Cuba backed down!" And then there's the burden of explaining about the Cold War, the Internet, the Real Housewives franchise, how an iPad is different from an iPhone, why he should switch from fifty-year-old canned goods to fresh-local-organic, blah blah blah. I can't deal with all that right now.

I guess I'll just leave him down there until Self-Defeating Erin is back under control.

18 comments:

Catherine said...

Oh wow, I really hope it's some sort of awesome time capsule down there!

I feel like I am rubbish most of the time. The only known cure for me is loud music, Incubus!! and getting something done. Ah life.

You're a great writer and I love reading your stuff x

Costume Diva said...

Yeah, lets also hope he's not pushing a buttin every 118 minutes...

Costume Diva said...

and by buttin and meant button... you can take the girl out of the south...

Jillian said...

4 8 15 16 23 42

Danielle said...

Love it!

Erin said...

Catherine—If I only had a private jet, I'd visit you often and we could chat over a wee cuppa.

Costume Diva—My brother said, "Let's hope it's not Desmond down there." To which I replied, "He'd be better than the whack job he replaced."

Jillian—How dare you, madame.

Danielle—I'll love it even more if it proves to be an undiscovered cache of cash.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind finding Desmond in my backyard... I'm just sayin'.
L3

stephanie said...

i think self defeating erin will take a long hiatus if awesome writer erin gets spiffy new business cards. just sayin'

Erin said...

stephanie—Holla!

Lt said...

For the record, Cuba didn't back down, the Soviet Union did. Castro had different plans. But wait, does that correction add to the self-defeatism?

I get in a funk like that quite often. Same issues. Except the Benadryl problem. I always go with 2.

Hang in there. I wish I had some profound advice, but all I come up with is hang in there. You rock, and eventually you'll come around and realize you rock.

Erin said...

L3—Yes, I'll turn him into my gardener. After everything he's been through, I think he'd be easily manipulated.

Lt—I'll throw a book on the Missile Crisis down the hatch then check back in a few days. So kind of you to proclaim my rockingness, incidentally, regardless of my historical inaccuracies.

mrs. fuzz said...

This is soooooo exciting! I was telling HF that I need a good intrigue and this just might be it! If you would actually look into it. . . I'll be checking back.

MONICA-LnP said...

like the movie Blast From the Past.
can't wait to see what you find!

Erin said...

MONICA-LnP—I wouldn't mind if Brendan Frasier emerged from the hatch, either.

Lisa Watts said...

I'm glad you live with a policeman, because I'm afraid you're going to find bones. Human bones.

As for the self-defeating part, it helps to live with someone who doesn't take any neuroses seriously, thus I can't take myself seriously, and then I feel better. If that makes any sense.

Not that I have it all figured out, by any means, but it does seem that as soon as I stop evaluating things, they get better.

Erin said...

Lisa—My thoughts had been turned toward finding a live person. So thanks for complicating things. Also, I could use a healthy dose of Bobitude, if you will. And I've decided to stop fussing and give myself a week to decompress.

Jen said...

First of all, congratulations on having a treasure-hunting dog. Very useful.
Second of all, I don't know where you live in North Carolina, but I'm feeling pretty confident that it definitely used to be a popular spot for pirates to hide their massive quantities of gold medallions.

Ed said...

And I thought the swastika in my basement was freaky!! Get to digging!

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