Monday, September 27

It's all for show

I'm feeling a lot better, thank goodness, but I'm still kind of achy. So naturally every day I drive to my mom's house, let Ethan get all up in her business while she's trying to work hang out with her for a little while, and I take a bath in her garden tub.

Since we don't have TV, and tonight's Monday Night Football game has serious fantasy football repercussions for Noah and me, we invited ourselves over gratefully accepted my parents' offer to come over for dinner and a little tube time. I should have known there would be strings attached.

Once we were all seated at the table, Mom opened up conversation by looking at my dad and asking, "Do you know what SHE did today?" I, for one, had no idea. It turns out that the lovely fresh towels hanging on the rack NEXT TO HER SHOWER do not count as actual towels. No, instead they're props in an elaborate ruse, one that is meant to convince people that all my mother's towels match and are of high quality.

I guess being berated for using the Show Towels isn't so bad when considering in mixed company she often refers to my dad as The Cook. Now I know why my late grandfather referred to her as Lady Sketrick Island.


Lish said...

I'm terrified to use those towels in someone else's house.
A good friend of mine rolls them up in these elaborate little rolls that NO ONE ON THE PLANET could emulate... I can't even pee comfortably in her bathroom for fear that I'll stand up after, bump into the basket holding the towels and go straight to the Hot Place.

There are no show towels at my house.
For one reason and one reason only.
I hate doing the laundry.
EVERY SINGLE TOWEL in my house is going to get used before I run a towel load.
Embroidery and/or thread count does not save a towel from its purpose.

That. And. Well. Maybe two reasons.
I can't figure out how to dust a towel.
And if you leave it there for too terribly long... when you don't have company... (sheepish shuffling of feet inserted here) well. The towel turns a bit grey with dust and ruins the impression I'd be trying to make in the first place.
So there.

I don't think I'm going to be very good at this housewife bit.

Locusts and Wild Honey said...

In college, for exactly one year, my brother shared an apartment with my fancy cousin Kristin. To say that it didn't work out is to put it mildly.

To this day, if you ask my brother about it, he will say, "She had towels! That you weren't allowed to use! They were everywhere! In the kitchen, in the bathroom. Everywhere!"

He was extremely scarred.

Lisa@Pickles and Cheese said...

I don't do "show towels" anymore. We are in the process of switching over to all white towels. I can bleach the white ones. Too many bleach accidents with the colored show towels and they all have scars to show it.

Erica@PLRH said...

As long as you didn't use the decorative "show soap" as well, you should be OK.

jjdaddyo said...

I have the opposite problem: my wife puts out these dainty little monogrammed linen hand towels (some of them antiques) in the downstairs bath and actually expects people to use them. The only problem is they just don't dry your hands very well.
We are both of the mind that antiques and family stuff should be used, not just put on the display shelf (although I am paranoid about breaking the gravy boat from my Great-grandmother's wedding china), but form does follow function, after all.

stephanie said...

so glad you are feeling better! i never understood the whole "show" towel thing. although, i'm lucky if i manage to even have a hand towel out in the first place.

Anonymous said...

C'mon you guys - I have only show towels in the bathroom. For goodness sake, I'm not some kinda freak!


Erin said...

Excuse me, MOTHER, but what do you call the black and white hand towels in the kitchen?

Kate said...

I bet they're cream, with silky, raised seashells. Actually, those are my mom's. I hate those seashells. I blame my intense hatred of scallops on those seashells.

Erin said...

Lish—I put off towel washing as well. Who has the energy when there are perfectly good unused towels still in the cupboard?

L&WH—I love that you have a "fancy" cousin. And I also send commiserative thoughts toward your brother. That sounds terrible.

Lisa—I'm making the switch to white towels too! I love the Linden Street quick-dry ones from JC Penney.

PLR—Show soap frightens me.

JJ—That reminds me of the story "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker. As long as you don't set fire to your house in rebellion, I think you're good.

stephanie—I am the WORST about having hand towels out. Basically, I'm the opposite of my mom when it comes to the Towel Question.

Kate—Not even! That's the most ridiculous part! They're just really nice, color-coordinated plush towels! But I, too, hate shell decor in the bathroom.

Lish said...

Don't hate on the shells. They were a Ca-Trillion dollar industry at one point...

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