As is the case every time I agree to some event taking place in the morning, I began to regret my 9 a.m. meeting in Raleigh the night before. Specifically at midnight, when I was still wide awake, contemplating my 6 a.m. alarm.
Turns out, the getting up part wasn't so bad. It was following Google Maps' directions, which I can say with near certainty were dictated by my Irish grandmother (who, I might add, has never driven in this country). Despite the fact that the Sheraton was smack dab in the middle of downtown Raleigh, Google Maps didn't provide a single concrete direction after I got on the highway in Winston-Salem. "Continue onto" was as specific as it got. Helpful!
With ten minutes left before my meeting, I knew I had to be getting close. That's when I saw Lowes (one of my Safe Havens—hello, Harbor Breeze fans! Oh there you are, machine screws! Thank God! PAINT DEPARTMENT! I'm home!), so I immediately pulled in for an emergency potty break (nervous stomach) and some advice from the locals. I made my destination just 10 minutes late.
I was meeting a lovely lady named Justine—who would also be catching an 11 a.m. flight, so time was of the essence—a representative for Brand About Town. Ladies and gents, I would like to introduce you to one of the new brand ambassadors for the Nintendo Wii Fit Plus–American Heart Association partnership. [crickets] [awkward theatrical pause in which I get into character] It's me!
More details to come soon, but I'm already enthusiastic about becoming a Nintendo Brand Ambassador. And here is where I'd like to pause and wax philosophical for a moment.
Aside from the disbelief of those who know me best—my brother asked if this was a scam; my friend Michaela followed up a texting conversation about it with a phone call to make sure her phone hadn't been hacked—Justine seems to think that through this blog, I've developed a trust relationship with you, my dear and cherished readers/friends. Although I'm not really a Person of Influence in, well, any capacity, I'm excited about being a source of unbiased information for you guys. I've benefited from the opinions and shared knowledge provided by so many bloggers, I hope that I can do the same.
In fact, let me share this with you right now: I use vagina cream as a facial makeup primer because I read about it on a beauty blog, and it's amazing.
Um, so, hmm. There's not really any way to transition from that statement. So I'll just keep going. As a brand ambassador, I'm not obligated to talk or write about Nintendo; they just believe that what they have to offer is something I can get behind. And in this case, I agree.
Noah's dad had major heart surgery when Noah was in high school. Heart disease is a fatal—and often early onset—problem in Noah's gene pool. So when I heard that Nintendo and the American Heart Association partnered to promote the Active Play games, I was immediately intrigued.
The thing is, I've never been much of a video gamer. The extent of my expertise was Super Mario Brothers 3. Level 1. Point being, I'm an agnostic when it comes to gaming. So I'm interested to see if what Nintendo offers with the Wii and Wii Fit can begin to reverse the trend of American fat assery I have unfortunately been party to these last few years. Losing 11+ pounds from changes in diet and some minimal exercise (Weight Watchers, holla!) has shown me just how sedentary I'd become.
Instead of living life, I realized I sat...okay, lounged...on the couch thinking most of what constituted everyday life were chores: Yard work, home maintenance, running errands, cleaning. These things aren't particularly exciting, but they're the stuff life is made of. They aren't something to be endured. At least I don't think that way anymore. I've been working on unlazifiying my life. Still, most of my exercise comes from incidentals: the 100,000 trips to the fridge to refill juices and milks, the inadvertent fartleks from the front door to keep Ethan from running into the street, the obstacle courses through the neighborhood pursuing a loose puppy and a naked toddler ("Does he ever wear clothes?" neighbor Tom asked me as I raced by, while he sipped leisurely at a glass of white wine on his front porch. "Rarely!" I shouted in response.).
Maybe this is just the kick I've needed. I hope I can kick you too. Er, I mean...not, literally. Oh, whatever. What with the aforementioned poop, vagina cream, and nudity, there's no saving this post.
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5 comments:
Good Lord, you're a talented writer. I'm sold!
My Wii Fit changed my life. I HATE THE GYM. I hate it and I'm NOT GOING. The Wii Fit, on the other hand, I love.
Two years later, I still use it every other day. I run for 30 minutes (with weights) and do sit-ups. I like it when the avatar people congratulate me and I like the way it keeps up with my weight.
I'm so excited for you!
The fact that you used the term "fat assery" makes me love this blog even more. Seriously, I'm going to be laughing about that all day.
Also, not to sound totally creepy, but I really wish we were neighbors because then I wouldn't feel so bad chasing my own naked toddler down the street. No one in my neighborhood has small children and they must think we're crazy - me in my bare feet running down the street after a naked two-year old wielding a sippy cup and a tennis racket.
Looking forward to the Wii Fit updates.
-Tracy
My boyfriend somehow managed to put me into a trance long enough last Christmas to get me to agree to buying a Wii as a present for ourselves. I don't think I've ever played video games other than Tetris, so this was a big feat for him. In any case, on December 26th, my parents, brother, sister-in-law, boyfriend, and I all woke up incredibly sore and confused until we realized that the various Wii Sports tournaments we had had gave us maybe the best upper body workouts of our lives. Sad, pathetic, but true. And that's not even the Wii Fit!
As an aside, I found your blog via the Secret Society of List Addicts many months ago, and I'm hooked. Your writing is incredible!
Mel—You're too kind!
L&WH—This gives me hope, since I too hate the gym.
Tracyellen—I'm not weirded out, but I think the rest of the neighborhood would be.
Jen—Bless you, darling, for reading! Also, wouldn't it be great to have the stamina of an 8-year-old? You know, the ability to play an interactive video game without a near-death experience?
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