Tuesday, October 20

The sad part is, it's only a fraction of what we paid for all that crap

In less than two weeks, life as we know it will change. Noah and I will be doing far less cooking. We'll have a built-in babysitter at any time of day or night. We will no longer have to pay for the Internet.

I know what you're thinking...robot...but that's not it.

My parents are moving in.

Dad cooks, and Mom works from home so she'll be picking up the Internet tab. And, well, Ethan is the cutest child in the world, so the babysitting thing's a no-brainer.

This is a temporary measure in which the 'rents will be staying with us until such times as their house sells or we throw them out in a family-destroying fit of rage or until such times as my dad secures a job down here, which will be much easier if he's, you know, here.

On a separate and unrelated note, if anyone is interested in buying a house in the Chicagoland area, I know of a great two-story, four-bedroom home with a recently remodeled kitchen and master bath, as well as a solid oak staircase off the marble foyer, which is overlooked by a half-walled bonus room. Did I mention the family and living rooms? And I can't forget about the dining area and the eat-in kitchen? I hear the sellers are motivated.

No, but we really are looking forward to them getting here, for the reasons mentioned above, and also for the fact that with the grandparents in the room next to Ethan's for a few months, Noah and I can theoretically sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake up to the scent of hot tea and toast with bacon crisping in the oven. Ahem, DAD.

All this is to say, we've been cleaning out our spare room.

Our spare room contained: One of Noah's childhood dressers that we refurbished, a desk-turned-sewing-desk where my sewing machine collects dust lives, a bookcase/computer desk, and a full-sized bed. So we cleaned out the drawers of all my crafty stuff, reorganized the closet to make some space, and went through all the many books to see which ones we didn't need or want anymore. Some of the choices were easy—for instance, getting rid of copies 2 and 3 of What to Expect the First Year, and one of our two copies of Sir Walter Scott's Waverly—others required some discussion—like Noah's book about vultures, the misunderstood denizens of the sky.

We rounded up our box of losers, which was made heavier by one of my two copies of Literary Theory and Criticism, threw in some of Noah's old anime, and headed to our used book/dvd/music emporium, Edward McKay (which I frequently refer to as Edwin McCain, a joke that Noah hates). The dude behind the drop-off counter accepted the large Pampers Cruisers Size 4 box and told us they'd put our name on the whiteboard after they were done, in about 30 minutes.

For the next half hour, we followed Ethan around the store and prevented him from
  • Eating one of the paper section signs, incidentally marked "Star Wars/Trekkie"
  • Crushing the shop's entire stock of granola bars
  • Rearranging the copious cd collection
  • Taking DVD cases of the shelves and throwing them
  • Disorganizing the many thousands of books on the lower shelves throughout the shop
When our name was finally posted, we walked to the front where another dude handed us back our box with several items that they didn't want either due to condition or overstock. And then he told us that, for what they did take, they'd be paying us $102 in cash.

At that moment, Noah and I froze in the manner of people who don't often receive medium or even small amounts of money from sources other than our employers, and even those monies aren't all that impressive. I glanced at Noah with hard eyes as he attempted to control the joyous contortion of his facial muscles. A quick readjustment of Ethan masked my ventriloquist-style mumble, Be cool, through clenched teeth.

Noah calmly accepted the cash, turned some of it back over for some purchases we wanted to make*, and quickly headed toward the parking lot, where we did a happy dance to an impromptu air loosely titled "Huzzah!"

This is such a turn of good luck, it's hard to imagine. We high-tailed it outta there before they realized their mistake. We're still excited. In fact, Noah sent me a text today with just two words: "102 dollars!"

And I still even have two copies of Waverly and three of What to Expect the First Year.

I know this is daring, and perhaps presumptuous, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I believe this could be the year's first Christmas miracle.

*Just because I know you're going to want to know what we bought, I'll tell you. Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5, Battlestar Galactica: Razor, and Firefly. Go ahead and mock us in all our dorky glory. Two words: 102 DOLLARS.


Catherine said...

Have started flogging stuff on ebay - it's addictive I tell you! I even made a small profit, eventually...

Anonymous said...

You should buy a lottery ticket this week.

B said...

hahahaha! That's awesome! I did something similar with kids clothing at, Once Upon a Time store, or something like that. A huge plastic tub full of kids clothes in mint condition, (Which I know sounds conflicting. Mint condition clothing + kids, but I did, mostly cause I threw out the stuff that been drooled and puked over.) Anyway, 20 minutes later I'm given the entire tub back with the clerks taking only two items. Two. Sigh... I made all of like eleven dollars. Never so perturbed in all my life.

mappchik said...

Having had both the thrill at collecting far more cash than expected for boxes of misc. comics & sci-fi/fantasy, and the experience of three generations in one house for a while, I offer you congratulations, with a touch of ahead-of-time commiseration.

The longer term visit will be great. You will all enjoy each other's company while they're with you. Of course, you'll also enjoy the regained space (speaking both of literal and figurative space) after the house sells.

BTW, the purchases you two made can't be that dorky, can they? After all, it's exactly the sort of purchase we'd make... if we didn't already have them.

Anonymous said...

I am a little conflicted that my daughter barely (and not with much enthusiasm I might add..)mentions the "rents" moving in. We only get a passing mention because I am going to "cook" for them, the mom is going to "pay" for the internet and we're going to "babysit" while the others in the house sleep in (pretending they don't get enough sleep already). I'm cut to the core already and feel "disrespected" (inside joke).

Actually can't wait to get down there and get my name into the job market. Hopefully the house sells quickly and I find gainful employ quickly (I echo Erin's sentiments about someone interested in a nice Chicago suburban house for sale).

(aka Head Chef and Babysitter and all-around handyman)

Slamdunk said...

Your list of things that you had to prevent Ethan from doing in the store is very similar to mine with our youngest son.

I also would add "keep him from screaming Wiggles lyrics while listening to a demo with the head phones on" (allowing him to jump and dance in the aisle with the 'phones on is ok though).

Oh, I think the news of your parents moving in is fantastic for your blog readers--I can't wait for the new comedy material to overflow in the coming posts.

Anne Dayton said...

Wait, there's a magical place where you can get rid of old book, music, AND Dvds? All under one roof? I'll believe it when I see it.

Dawn said...

I keep TELLIN Ben we need to sell some of our things to a second-hand store (things that are perfectly good, but which are going to waste sitting on shelves)! I'm using this story as a motivational example.

And just one thing to add concerning a live-in sitter and one-who-prepares-deliciousness-for-fast-breaking: SCORE!

Dan said...

Firefly alone is worth $102

Although I think I'd end up topping myself if my parents moved in.

Tracy said...

I saw "Chicagoland area" and I had to check it out because I'm from the Chicagoland area (and yes, I know that "area" is huge and I've actually known people from NW Indiana who claimed to be from the Chicagoland area). What was my point? Oh yes, my family doesn't live very far from your family...or from where they used to live.

And now I really, really miss Chicago.

mrs. fuzz said...

I loved this post. We have a few places that we take our junk to here and usually we think we won't get anything, that they might even throw our box at us and tell us to get out, so we are always very happy with what we walk away with even if it isn't much, but we do try to act all casual, like we should've gotten much more for all that.

You are so lucky to have your parents move in with you! I know not many people would say that, but I'm always trying to get mine to and they won't. But not because they would help out with the chores and babysit. Because they are such a joy to be around. Well, the babysitting and chores is definitely a perk. Your parents seem great though. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so I found your blog through Pancakes and Frenchfries. I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now.

I live in Chicagoland, so out of curiosity I clicked on the link to your parents' real estate listing. Imagine my surprise when I saw their house and realized I live only a few blocks away from them!

Small, small world. Good luck with the new living arrangements, job hunting and house selling. I can vouch for the neighborhood ~ it's great.


Jen said...

I would NEVER EVER EVER mock you for buying Firefly! I loved that show - and was so happy when they made it into a movie! Love Nathan Fillion & am so glad he's back on tv in Castle (which I'm sure you could mock in so many ways for it's police procedure - but anyway.) Cool! The rents are moving in - good luck, I hope it all goes smoothly.

Tina said...

So glad to see some Firefly fans on here! Hooray for anything written, directed, or produced by Joss Whedon. You guys seen Dr. Horrible?? You will LOVE.


Erin said...

Catherine—ebay is one thing I've never really gotten into.

Kerry—You know, I've never played the lottery either. But I'm so superstitious, I think I'd talk myself out of it (don't want to risk the good luck by getting cocky about it, see).

Bethany—that makes me feel a little bit better about the many bags of perfectly good clothes I've donated to Goodwill.

mappchik—I fully intend on gathering as much blog fodder from the experience as possible.

Dad—Don't you forget that I plan on making you earn your keep.

Slamdunk—We haven't gotten to TV show/music obsession yet. I'm praying that his love of The Office will outweigh his love of the Wiggles.

Anne—Yes, there is such a magical place. And I'm the Queen of the land.

Dawn—I can only imagine the stores of media you two have accumulated through the years. A veritable goldmine.

Dan—My mom says you only say that because your parents must be dry English people. No offense. The Irish have their negatives, too. Such as nonstop chatter.

Tracy—Alas, I'm feeling nostalgic already and they're not even here yet.

Mrs. Fuzz—I truly am looking forward to having them here. I'm such a homebody, family kind of girl, and it's been 8 years since I lived at home full-time. Heck, it's been that long since we've lived in the same state full-time.

Kathy—What a small world indeed! Glad to have you here. And I'm really, truly going to miss that neighborhood. Love it. I don't know how many times I've walked the loop around the lake to the library and back.

Jen—You know, Castle looks good to me (I've only seen previews). I cracked up when I saw him in that ballistic vest with "Writer" written across it. I told Noah I gotta get me one of those.

Tina—I can always count on you to make me feel better about our nerdtastic choices. You're a handy girl to have around ;)

Tina said...

Ahh - the force is strong with this one.

Since I set the nerdtastic bar so high, I'm sure to make you feel better about your choices. =) And I'm okay with it, since I'm pretty sure my nerdiness = pure, unadulterated awesomeness.

Dusty @AllThingsG+D said...

$102? Hell yeah, I would have been thrilled, too! Congrats! And good luck with the parents moving in!

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...