PSAs Fierce Beagle style

I know you've all been obsessively checking back regularly for me to have written the post-race recap, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow. For now, I will give you this: My time was 1:53 and some change, I came in 17th out of 21 in my age group, and 190th overall in the women. What do these figures mean? Let's put it this way. If you categorized triathletes into three groups—Elite, Competitive, and Didn't Die—I'm in the Didn't Die group. The good news, of course, is that I didn't die! Huzzah!

Meanwhile, my brother contracted Swine Flu at school in Oklahoma. He's been quarantined to his dorm room, which means he'll be calling my parents every 3 minutes for the next week or so. Kyle is prone to panicking, so this should be fun for everyone involved.

I'll give you a sampling of this afternoon's breathless-with-anxiety calls, from the hours of 5:15 to 5:40 p.m.:

• What's my ID number?
• What's Dad's social security number?
• What's our insurance group number?
• Am I getting the right kind of Sudafed and Mucinex?
• I've picked up the prescription.
• I'm back in my room and going to the bathroom.
  
• My prescription says take both Day 1 pills but I can only find one. Oh wait, there's the other one.
• Should I take all my medicines at once?
  
• I can't find the clean fitted sheet to put on my bed. What should I do?

Since I tend to pick up any weird disease that comes within a mile radius of me, I will be quarantining myself from Kyle. Which at this distance means I won't be reading any text messages or accepting any calls from him. This is sort of like the time Nanny elected to stop sending me cards when I was in college during the anthrax crisis (although she was assured that the only way a card from her would be laced with anthrax was if she did herself, she couldn't be dissuaded).

Speaking of Nanny, Nanny is in the hospital with some internal problems. Nanny being prone to melodrama, this should be a fun week for my uncle and aunt. Oh wait, excuse me. She's in the Princess Diana hospital, so she's very chuffed. Also, four other patients came in today who were sicker than her, so that made her happy as well.

Meanwhile, I'll be icing my gluteus maximus and soaking in a hot bath. Until tomorrow!