Last night Noah and I were talking about how we'd get by on one income if we had to because let's face it people have been saying our economy's on the upswing since Day 1 of Watch Banks in the United States Tank the World, even as we plunge deeper into it. Depending on your opinion, I'm either prepared or an alarmist. What can I say? I've always thought fallout shelters were cozy.
We came up with a number of strategies for coping on basically half of what we bring in now, strategies that included selling the car we haven't paid off yet, canceling cable, line drying our clothes, and teaching the cats to catch wild turkeys instead of backyard birds.
That's Threat Level 1. Threat Level Midnight—when, say, a second income can't be reacquired within 6 months—well, that involves some more serious schemes, which include but are not limited to making Cody turn tricks (like Sit and Shake Hands) for money, orchestrating insurance fraud, clipping coupons, and stealthily shooting a cow on a nearby farm and dragging it home for a year's worth of beef.
Noah helpfully pointed out that we wouldn't have to worry if I'd just put my writing skills to good use and publish a best-seller, something along the lines of What to Expect When You're Expecting or The Holy Bible.
I'm off to brainstorm.
P.S. Thanks for your kind words about Clyde. My family (and I, of course) really appreciates it.
10 comments:
Seriously. Hop to it, E.
We have been having similar conversations in our house.
We've settled on selling the kids to white slavers.
Either that or me stopping drinking as much diet coke, one of the two.
Dan—How about you only drink half as much, and keep one of the kids?
Sal—Can I count on you for 20 copies then?
Ironically, I just saw on the news that cattle rustling has hit epic proportions in the southwest, and the economy is the cause.
Me, I think holding up a McDonald's sounds a lot cleaner.
I like the stealthy shot cow idea - I'm pretty sure that's how my parents got so into venison. Because, for a while there, they were living on love. Love and deer meat.
Christopher—We are headed to California this weekend...
Sarah Von—That sounds like a lot of fun. Now I know where you got your spirit of adventure :)
Brilliant idea! In my experience you'll still need a day job, but publishing is wonderful gravy.
You'd write an awesome book. Hie thee to a computer! (Wait, you're on one now. Well, start typing!)
Excellent ideas, all of them! You could also try writing a book about a sparkly vampire - oh wait, that's been done already. Hmm. Sorry to read about Clyde, that must have been a very sad day; and YOU are not old, I am :) Wait until you are approaching 39 (good GOD how did THAT happen??!) Hope you have a wonderful flight to CA - it will all be just fine!
Too funny - my hubby says the same thing - "Go write a blockbuster and we'll be set!"
Of course he says this only in jest as he's seen how early I actually get up to have a few hours of uninterrupted time at the laptop to tap out a story that may never get published.
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