Funny you should ask, because I looked like this, actually:
Here's my mum and dad:
Sharon, the Potty Mouth, and Kevin, Mr. Sarcastic. Also, although it doesn't appear to be so, I am actually wearing a dress in this photo. It's just being covered by my monstrous bouquet. Seriously, I'm glad I carried it because it prepared me for the extra 30 pounds I'd be carrying around 5 years later.
Also, if you're thinking to yourself, "Wow! those ladies have some good lookin' hair," let me tell you this: Our hairdresser for the wedding met Fabio back when it was cool to be Fabio, and she had the pictorial evidence in her styling station. So, yeah.
And why was I so gussied up on August 7, 2004? I had an appointment with this guy:
It was a great time had by all, and there wasn't even alcohol involved:
There was, however, Irish dancing:
And goober dancing:
And, inexplicably, a giant saxophone:
Because a wedding just isn't a wedding without a 12-foot-tall fake woodwind instrument.