Tuesday, August 25

The part with the traveling

When I say "I like to travel," what I mean is, "I like to experience new places, or places I haven't been in awhile." What I do not mean, on the other hand, is "I enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on a 4 inch-by-4 inch area an economy seat in a packed fuselage without even peanuts or pretzels to soften the blow." I longingly await the day when I can either jump through space instantaneously or be put into a cryogenic sleep for the duration.

Seriously guys? The airlines seem to be getting worse. Few airlines do pre-boarding for people with kids anymore, and even the beverage service is getting skimpier. I kid you not, on one of our (four) flights, a flight attendant literally slowly walked down the aisle with a single bottle of water and a stack of cups waiting for someone to raise their hand for their ration. I felt like I was on the Battlestar Galactica (that point where they're running out of water and they take water shots out of crystal glasses), only probably worse because the cups were plastic.

Bonus: In-flight movies. The first one, The Soloist, is supposed to be pretty good. I wouldn't know, because during that film I was sacrificing myself for the sake of the other passengers. Apparently part of Ethan's Put Myself To Sleep Ritual is flailing his legs; my clavicle can attest to it. Although on the plane, it didn't work. Instead, after a few minutes of kicking my bad collarbone (staircase, fall), he climbed my ribcage and yanked the headphones off. The rest of that flight was spent surreptitously slipping him Coke to keep him quiet—which sounds counterintuitive, I know, but that kid will do anything for a forbidden soda.

On the first flight back, we gave Ethan a little Benadryl on the advice of a pediatric nurse. So if you'd like to criticize, please send all comments to her. Trust me, though. It was better for all involved: Ethan could relax enough to take his nap in-flight, and I didn't have to stress about being That Mother With the Kid On the Plane for a couple of hours, and I even got to watch the movie. Which was...wait for it...Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, starring Matthew McConaughey as That Same Guy He's Played In Every Movie Since 1999 With Maybe One Exception. It was possibly the stupidest movie and worst bastardization of a Dickensian theme I've ever seen. It's certainly the worst movie of the year. I'm so glad I got to watch that one, and not The Soloist, which I could tell was really good, because it featured many tight shots of Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. looking at each other with great seriousness and intensity.

There was also the ferry to and from Catalina, which wasn't bad at all really. We even got to see dolphins jumping out of the water on the way there, so I had Noah get the camera out for the ferry ride back to the mainland to capture the wonders of nature. And boy did he ever:


This is what Ethan looked like minutes before boarding the ferry on the return trip:

And this is what I looked like minutes after Ethan fell asleep on the ferry, when Noah almost woke him as he jostled past to buy a Snickers that he just couldn't do without on the hourlong boat trip:

And that, in a nutshell, is what it's like to travel cross country with a toddler.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it - you actually have a wee bit of Calfornia tan going on there girl! Ethan is adorable as usual. You, on the other hand, looking a little scary!

Mum

copswife said...

I think it's hilarious that you gave your child Coke to keep him happy. Now, when you see parents that just don't know any better or just don't care, that's another story. But this was for a reason.

copswife said...

Plus, I would like to point out you neglected to provide contact info for that nurse. lol

mappchik said...

The benadryl trick... been there, done that. Except, I was dosing a big toddler & a little toddler at the same time.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are trips with my medium & big kids which - aside from them being potty-trained & able to carry their own luggage - are not very different from when they were toddlers.

mrs. fuzz said...

Geez, I used Benadryl on our then 18 month old and it had the opposite affect. It was probably the worst day of my life. our normally docile child screamed and flailed, and jumped, and ran up and down the aisles. People were so rude. Finally, HF swat her leg and she fell asleep for a few moments and then was at it again.

We drive across the country now when we visit family. We will wait until our children are much older to fly. So not worth it to us. Especially with how the airlines have become.

Ms Constantine said...

Not to rub it in or anything, but you should watch the soloist if you get the chance. It's pretty good. Beautiful music!

Sal said...

I, too, long for the day when teleportation is possible. Won't that be AWESOME?

Tina said...

Hey, don't worry. Lots of parents in our area give their kids Coke. But accidentally. Because they leave it out on the coffee table when they're too high to remember they have children... ....

Ooooohhhhh. Cola. :-P

Noah said...

Nobody is commenting on my incredible photograph of the Loch Ness Monster dolphin. Come on people!

Catherine said...

ANYTHING is preferable to having to deal with an unhappy toddler in an airplane seat, Coke and benedryl were a small price to pay!

We travelled for 9 hours yesterday and Himself had a cold, and a wee bit of a temperature... for us, it was chocolate milkshake, Calpol and his favourite toy cars.

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