Tuesday, July 14

Unfit, or maybe just ill-fitting

SCENE ONE
Erin has just arrived home from work. On her lunch break she stopped by Forever 21 since now, at age almost-26, she finally looks old enough to shop there.

ERIN (modeling new black dress): And this is my new black dress.

NOAH
: Very nice.

(Erin leaves, then returns wearing a long lightweight knitted tunic.)

ERIN (doing model poses): And this is my new light-weight tunic. If I was a celebrity, I would wear this as a dress, like so.

(She indicates the fact that she's not wearing pants, then leaves.)

NOAH: And what's the last thing?

ERIN (returns, wearing long gray and black vest): And this is my vest. Although it is neither a shirt nor a dress, if I were a celebrity, I would wear it as either.

(She indicates the fact that she is wearing a long vest with no pants or shirt.)

NOAH: I wish you could blog photos of yourself like this. That'd be really funny.

ERIN: No can do. I run a family-friendly site.

(Erin leaves, accidentally flashes butt cheeks a la celebrities who wear shirts and vests as whole outfits.)

* * *

SCENE TWO
Erin drives home from work for lunch. She, Noah and baby Ethan sit around the dining table eating, and discussing whether or not they should take Ethan to Water Babies that evening.

ERIN: I don't want to give up on him.

(She hands Ethan a bit of ice cream sandwich, which he claims is "hot.")

NOAH: We're not giving up on him. He clearly doesn't like it.

(He wipes Ethan's ice creamey fingers.)

ERIN: But you've told me that you wish your parents had encouraged you not to give up the French horn!

(She hands Ethan a cracker, which he throws on the ground.)

NOAH: But I didn't cry every time I played the French horn.

(Ethan sticks his finger in the pecan-crusted cream-cheese-chicken ball on the table, licks it, then announces "Num-a-num-a-num.")

ERIN: Touche.

Exeunt

7 comments:

Sal said...

My husband has made similar comments about posting half-nude photos on the blog. Wonder how much they'd like it if we called their collective bluff.

mrs. fuzz said...

But aren't you glad that his parents didn't encourage him to play the french horn? I would be. . .

Slamdunk said...

I like to think that I am one of the few bloggers that readers would actually pay significant sums to wear more clothes.

Natalie said...

Now that's one high-quality post! I pose in my new clothes for hubby whenever I get the chance, but he usually ends up throwing them on the floor after the model show and states, "Now THAT looks good...Bare it all, baby!" Sigh.


It's a pity about the waterbabies class though. My son couldn't get enough of his swimming class (to the point of not always listening to the instructor...but, he's 3, so I got over it) and my 1 year old would've joined in a heartbeat if we let her anywhere near the water when dropping off said hoodlum. Good luck!

mappchik said...

Two of my three children are practically merfolk. My younger son hated the swimming pool, and would start crying if you asked him about getting in. We would try getting him in occasionally, but didn't push too hard. He was happy in the baby pool. When he was about 4-1/2, his panic disappeared. It was about the time he became tall enough to stand in the shallow end.

Don't worry about your baby not being a waterbaby yet. He'll get there.

And, got a good laugh out of the modeling exchange. Fashion shows are fun, though I think my hubby would prefer it after a trip to actual clothing stores. It's been all
cycle/run skirts and technical tops this summer.

Jen said...

After taking my first to swimming lessons at not-quite 2, I decided lessons was silly until they were 4. It was more of a 'let's all gab while the babies play and get comfy in the water'- didn't learn anything new to work with them on. But that was at the county pool, so maybe we were missing out on something grand?

Erin said...

Mrs. Fuzz—I suppose I am glad, come to think of it. And let's be honest, it's not like he was the Yanni of French horn. Although maybe he could have been...

Mapchick—I'm counting on him adapting. Really, he was more interested in the people and the pool toys than in being in the water. I know eventually he'll put them both together.

Jen—That's basically what this class was like. Then again, I don't think we could have handled more structure, unless part of the curriculum was "How to get your child unwrapped from around your neck."

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