Monday, June 29


I could never truly be a busybody, one of those people who peeks out their front window every time they hear a car. Sometimes, I just get tired of people telling me their business. I just want to sit quietly alone in the tastefully decorated library of my ranch home, watching the horses graze and whinny in the pasture while sipping a cup of tea and pausing to contemplate the next sentence of my much anticipated, soon-to-be-best-selling book. Is that too much to ask?

I'd feel better about not having the ranch and knowing too much of other peoples' business if Ethan wasn't acting like I'm a walking turd today (aka repellent to his toddler sensibilities, for whatever reason), and also if that old woman would have quit passing me as I did my laps in the pool at the Y. Really, old woman? You couldn't have just let me do my laps in peace? You had to turn it into a competition?

If you feel the urge to talk about your problems with me, please don't. Not today. I will, however, still be accepting praise. And pecuniary compliments, if you're so inclined.

Coming up this week on The Fierce Beagle: An Evening With Greatness, Part 2—the riveting finale to An Evening With Greatness, Part 1; Bathroom Makeover—before and after; and The Benefits of Happy Pills, or Why One Shouldn't Let One's Prescription Lapse.


Tina said...

You're fabulous. You're not a turd. Toddlers are turds. Sometimes. =) Sounds like he has a case of the Mondays.

Can't wait for that bathroom reveal!

Jen said...

OMG toddlers are total turds! (wanna trade? Mine SCREAMS her head off at me!) I think today needs to be over for everyone. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

Slamdunk said...

I like toddlers, but after a 9 hour drive from the beach with one of three that hates to travel--I agree with the acting like a turd comment.

May @ Anne and May said...

Tantalizing! I can't wait for the rest of the week.

Also, this post was so funny, I almost launched Diet Coke out of my nose.


Tim Atkinson said...

Always knew exercise was bad for your well-being (in spite of your last post)!!

Erin said...

Tina—Toddlers *are* turds. Thanks so much for agreeing!

Jen—Sounds like everyone on Earth had a case of the Mondays. Or, Mundies, as I prefer to pronounce it. Sounds more medical that way.

Slamdunk—So, am I totally insane for considering an 11-hour car trip to Chicago then?

May—Thank you. The whole reason I started this blog was to get people to embarass themselves through my hilarity, believe it or not.

The Dotterel—Exercise is good for you in that for a few days you think yourself really clever and on the road to fitness. Then after your constitution hasn't changed dramatically, say around Day 3, your outlook isn't so positive anymore.

Anonymous said...

I think your chock full of awesome, and we've only just e-met.

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