And this is pretty much how the whole thing has gone

Me: Hi, Dad. What should the consistency of grout be?
Dad: Well, you want it loose but not too loose. Spreadable.
Me: Like peanut butter?
Dad: Sort of. Not quite that stiff.
Me: And are you talking chunky or smooth peanut butter? Natural?
Dad: Maybe that's not the best comparison. Uh, let me think...
Me: What about your chocolate chip cookie dough?
Dad: That depends.
Me: I'm talking your cookie dough after you've mixed in the melted butter and sugar.
Dad: No that's too soupy.
Me: What about after you've chilled it for about five minutes?
Dad: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Me: Okay, thanks.

* * *

Things Noah has said to me in the past two weeks:

• "It's not your fault. I just blamed you because it felt good."
• "You're not being much of a friend to me right now."
• "That was a cry for help."
• "You're much smarter than your GRE math score says."

* * *

Things I've said to Noah in the past two weeks:

• "Maybe if you'd stop whistling you'd have more brain power."
• "Are you going to be this pissy all evening?"
• "Take your time inspecting that. I'll just keep supporting this toilet by myself."
• "Place that very gingerly. Gingerly. GINGERLY."

* * *

Despite the fact that Noah—in his extreme and annoying levels of cautiousness—has rounded up on every. single. measurement. he's taken for this bathroom renovation, thus resulting in innumerable "trim it down a little"s and "It'll fit once I sand this edge here"s, our new loo is just about done. Before and After pics forthcoming.