I know you'll all be surprised by this, considering my typical aptness with wit, but I've never been great at April Fool's jokes. Mainly because my April Fool's jokes go something like this:
Me: Oh my gosh, my house got broken into! The back door is busted!
Unwitting Victim of My Joke: Holy cow, that's awful! Are you okay??
Me: Uh, April Fool's! Ha. Ha...
Me: I got fired today.
Unwitting Victim of My Joke: Oh no, what are you going to do?! What happened??
Me: Uh, April Fool's...
Me: Did you get a ride here today?
Unwitting Victim of My Joke: No, why?
Me: Your car isn't in the parking lot.
Unwitting Victim of My Joke: What??
Me: Uh, Apr...Nevermind. It's there.
All my best April Fool's jokes revolve around faking some terrible event and then revealing the truth after I've gotten the Unwitting Victim to feel really, really crappy.
This year, in lieu of fake muggings or fake food poisonings, I will instead leave you with a story that should be a joke, but isn't:
When we lived in Ireland, there was a man at our church named Billy Badsmell. He talked with the minister about changing his name, because he said he had been teased his whole life. The minister gave his blessing, so Billy Badsmell decided to legally change his name to...
And that is the honest truth.