Last night I found myself trying to hide when I was eating my solid milk chocolate Dove Easter egg, because I didn't want to share with Ethan. But darned if he didn't hear the crinkle of the foil and come crawling full-speed ahead. Begrudging my own child a small morsel of chocolate? That's when I started wondering... I found this questionnaire, and I promised myself I'd be honest while filling it out.
1. How often do you have a snack containing chocolate?
Yesterday? Only...3 times. In the afternoon. And before bed.
2. How often do you have 6 or more chocolate snacks on 1 occasion?
Only on or around major holidays. Like Christmas, Easter, Earth Day, Victoria Day, First of Muharram, and the like.
3. How often during the past year have you found that you were not able to stop eating chocolate once you had started?
I eventually stop. When the chocolate's gone.
4. How often during the past year have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of eating chocolate?
Look, Noah was there and he had control of the situation. Sometimes I just need a break!
5. How often during the past year have you needed a first bite of chocolate in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy chocolate-eating session?
Come on! Everyone has to do something to jump-start their day. I notice you're not asking how many cups of coffee I drink in the morning.
6. How often during the past year have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after eating chocolate?
It's not about eating chocolate, it's how I feel about myself afterward that makes me uncomfortable.
7. Have you or has someone else been injured as a result of your chocolate eating?
So the dog eats a wrapper every now and then, it's never made him sick!
I think I need help.