A real wally

Internet, allow me to introduce my brother, Kyle.

Known in some circles as Prince Ali Ababwa.

Just before he went to college and joined a fraternity, Kyle, Noah, my dad and I went to lunch at a little Irish pub outside Chicago.

Kyle: Will you mix my salad for me, Dad?
Erin: You're kidding me, right?
Kyle: What?
Noah: You just asked your dad to mix your salad.
Kyle: I always make a mess and get lettuce on the table.
Dad: So are you gonna call me to come mix your salad for you in college?
Kyle: No...
Erin: Thank goodness.
Kyle: ...I'm not going to eat salad in college!