Tuesday, January 13

In which I present a strong case for ammending the U.S. Employment Laws

I started the day running 20 minutes late, and by the time I got home my shoulders were so tense that my butt stood a full inch higher than normal.

You know those days that happen occasionally, the ones where you’ve tossed and turned all night, then finally fall into a deep and comforting sleep like 10 minutes before you have to get up? This is what today was. I just couldn’t get the engine revved this morning.

Let me take this moment to wax political and say that I believe Obama should support the Take Back Your Time lobby for reasonable paid vacation, sick and maternity leave, as well as more flexible working arrangements to help preserve family time. But in addition to these noble propositions, I'd like to put forth the idea of 2-3 mandatory paid Lazy Days in which workers may choose to stay in bed, wear their pajamas and watch movies all day, pausing only to answer the door for the government-sponsored delivery of the Emergency Comfort Food Box containing Cinnabons, Cheez Doodles, McDonald's french fries and Swedish meatballs.

Even though I had picked out an outfit last night, and even though I was already running late, I changed three times this morning. I should have just thrown in the towel and wore jeans and a sweater, but I was determined to wear a dress. Big mistake. Because in the winter, you have to wear tights with dresses, and tights have a propensity for turning figurative to literal when it comes to the panties in a twist scenario. What’s more, if you wear tights, you have to wear a slip, or risk having the sticky-leg syndrome all day, in which your dress looks more like a romper.

Under normal circumstances, wearing a slip is no problem. But the only slip I have is one from middle school, so what should be a floaty non-stick garment is now a fairly skanky miniskirt. Plus, whenever I tried to adjust my tights, as one inevitably does whilst wearing tights, I’d end up cinching the slip up some more, so it frequently ended up acting less as a slip and more as a belt. Fun. Times.

When I finally got into my car to come to work, the whole thing was frozen.

And then I hit nearly every red light possible on the way in. I considered stopping for a donut, but didn’t. Probably should’ve.

Because when I got to work, first thing, there was An E-mail With A Problem. You know, That E-mail With A Problem that totally screws the rest of your day. So needless to say, work was…challenging. I shall stop there or risk being dooced. Although my amazing, beautiful, compassionate boss Michaela told me to leave a half hour early.

So I’m loath to complain too much. After all, I wasn’t farted on by a squatting stranger in the subway like Costume Diva was.

But who knows? The day is still young.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

I have to agree with you as far as the whole time off policy. I have to admit that we "Wachovia-ites" were a little spoiled but I really feel the Wells Fargo policy is a bit strict. No Family Care Time (hours you could use to take care of your family members); no Community Service Time; no sick days; and NO maternity/paternity days. What all this amounts to is no time other than Paid Time Off and actually they reduced the number of PTO days too! I needed to vent too :)

Erin said...

WOW. That is pretty bad. And I was frustrated because our company is revising its vacation accrual policy so that people on leave (maternity, for instance) do not accrue time off. I guess I'll just have to deliver chicken soup to your cubicle next time you're sick.

Costume Diva said...

Oh, I totally support the mandatory paid Lazy Days- especially the Emergency Comfort Food Box. Only mine would include an enormous burrito, Dove Toffe and Caramel icecream, mozzerella sticks and a frigid Coke. I would also need the complete set of Harry Potter DVD's. And while the strangers fart was pretty horrid- I dont deal with baby poo on a daily basis like you do!

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