For reasons that will be explained in due time, I called Party City just now. I had to listen to a prerecorded message of a Southern guy doing a monster voice (the monster was also apparently British), only to be disconnected at various stages of greeting from the actual Party City worker.
Finally, I got through.
Dude: Hello this is Party City, how can I help you?
Erin: Hi, do you have a Princess Leia wig?
Dude: Uh, a what?
Erin: A Princess. Leia. Wig. You know, LIKE FROM STAR WARS?
Dude: Ma'am can you hold on a second?
(thirty second interval)
Dude: Ma'am, I'm sorry, we don't.
That's five minutes I'll never get back, and I don't even have the hope of a Princess Leia wig to make up for it.