Monday, September 22

Fundamental philosophical differences

"It doesn't take much to make you happy. ... Just money." Noah, while we were on our way to Lowe's Home Improvement for the second time in two days.

The weather was decidedly fallish this weekend, and Noah was home all day Saturday and Sunday — a rarity that I relish — so I naturally went into fall project overdrive.

To me, it's not unreasonable to believe that we could strip and repaint a dresser and chest of drawers with Formica tops, and then build a pergola for our back deck. Two projects, two days. I mean, what's the point of a project if you can't start and finish it in the same day, right? Like when I insisted we stay up until the wee hours the time we painted and decorated the nursery. Noah was hanging wooden letters above the crib at 2:45 a.m.

Noah told me I have a seriously skewed perception of time. I told him, not if he did projects the way I do projects: half-…ahem…heartedly.

In my mind, building a pergola is as easy as buying four tall posts, nailing them to a rudimentary rectangle frame, and plopping some rickrack on top.

Noah: What's rickrack?

Erin: You know, that crisscrossy stuff that people put around the bottoms of their decks.

Noah: That's not called rickrack!

Erin: What's it called then?

Noah: Chalice.

Erin: Uh, you mean trellis? Or, alternatively, lattice?

Noah: Whatever.

My shtick is getting stuff for a bargain and refurbishing it on the cheap, so we then have awesome one-of-a-kind stuff without breaking the bank like those chumps who buy furniture at actual furniture stores. And it's actually pretty cool, because the dresser and chest of drawers were Noah's when he was a tot, and now they're going to be Ethan's. We haven't finished them yet (we're painting them this cool shade of blue called indigo streamer), and we haven't even started the pergola (although we've picked out a simple plan).

Anyway, while we were at Lowe's, I took part in one of my favorite activities: walking around and looking at all the cool stuff so I can get ideas for and plan our next projects. This one certainly won't happen for a while, but I'd love to get a deep soaking tub for the master bathroom. While Ethan and I were headed toward the tubs aisle (Noah was off fantasizing about weed whackers), we had to walk past the toilets.

Now, I'm no advertising genius — and I mean you have to be pretty darn creative to come up with clever marketing for commodes — but I was really thrown when in the midst of all the stickers stating "Everything you need in one box!s" and "Saves water!s" there was a real standout. Boy do I wish I could have been in the test lab the day they came up with this one. It read, simply and without pretension: "Can flush an entire bucket of golf balls."


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