Tuesday, August 19

Never underrate the value of climate control

There may be some concern in the community regarding disparaging remarks I’ve made about Noah in recent posts, namely involving ice cream, underpants, and the like.

But I must admit that Noah has a way of coming through in a pinch. When we returned from Maryland, our house was a cool and inviting balmy 81 degrees. And it took two days for the home warranty repair guy to come out and fix it. I'm just thankful Cody didn't expire in the heat, since even the furminator hasn't rid him of the 35 pound hair coat encapsulating what I believe is actually a chihuahua-sized dog.

Needless to say, now I know why crime increases during the summer. Crime has definitely increased in our household, and the perpetrator is usually me. Offenses have included but not been limited to short temper, general irritability, and uncalled-for crankiness. Poor Ethan has even fallen victim to his surroundings, and has turned into a household hoodlum. I keep telling him that he must rise above his circumstances, but to no avail.

The Floridian heat and humidity permeating the house had pushed familial relations to the brink by late last evening. So I did what anyone would do: I double-dog-dared Noah to walk out onto our back porch buck naked. In the country as we are, there was little risk of being seen, even with Noah’s angelically white skin hue. And anyway, I think our backyard neighbor may have once seen me naked from the waist down, in an unfortunate incident involving spilled milk, an unexpectedly open curtain, and a poor decision on my part regarding what to use to sop up said spilled milk. So what’s one more naked neighbor, am I right?

I cannot disclose what actually transpired last night, but I will say that Noah, with superherolike self-sacrifice, took one for the team. Not unlike the time I (may or may not have) convinced him to take his professional headshot (allegedly) not wearing pants. So that (theoretically) we’d always know that his future success hinged in part on a photo in which he was (innocent until proven guilty) half nude.

Granted, nothing was to be gained by his accepting my double-dog-dare except a much-needed lightening of the spirits.

So did he go through with it? I cannot say. Except to say, boy am I in a better mood.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...