Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone off the deep end of the self-pity pool

You know, who doesn’t love the classic Kenny Loggins ballad, “Danny’s Song,” about the joys and hardships of young married life and starting a family? It’s actually pretty amazing how accurate it is to our lives right now, with a few minor tweaks.

First, our son’s name is Ethan, not Danny. Second, if we were singing the chorus, it would go a little something like this: “Even though we ain’t got money, that doesn’t stop them from trying to suck more out of us, honey.”

Upon my biannual dental checkup, it has been revealed that I have TWO cavities. So if you’ll kindly allow me a moment to reach into the depths of feeble melodrama, WHY GOD WHY?? WHY YET ANOTHER BILL? WHY DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN PLUNGING FURTHER INTO MEDICAL DEBT AND HAVING MY TEETH ROT OUT OF MY HEAD?

Ahem, thank you.

Today’s gloomy, rainy weather isn’t helping my mood. I know things are really bad because normally what I want to do most during a summer rainstorm is watch Twister (that’s as close as I get to thrill seeking), but now I all I want to do is loll around and moan/whine. Like Ethan does when his gums are sore. But who can blame us?!

While most people prefer to listen to the radio or their iPods while working, today I chose to sing myself “Danny’s Song” over and over in my head with a tragic, melancholy air. Michaela, as though she could sense the nuances of my distress (I was sighing so frequently that her hair was flapping in the wind), reminded me that no decisions Noah and I make to get through this time are irreversible.

And then — with a tremendous display of vim and pep, hearkening back to her cheerleader days — she riffed on R.E.M. with a mighty, “It’s NOT the end of the world as you know it!” And there was much clapping of hands and shaking of hips.

And I was all, “um, that’s not how that song goes.”