I know that The Dog Whisperer says dogs are just being friendly when they sniff your butt, and that's exactly what I told Noah's aunt (who we hadn't seen since our wedding four years ago) when Cody wedged his nose gently, yet firmly, between her cheeks.
So what did I expect today, while leaning over IN A DRESS to get Ethan out of his car seat?
But see today I'm in no mood, because we received yet another bill in what appears to be an endless stream of bills related to Ethan's birth FIVE MONTHS AGO. We've gotten a hundred bills from what seems like everyone even remotely involved, including the anesthesiologist — whose epidural effort could have been a little more effective, considering it was the price of a LARGE flat-panel TV. If I had known I'd have to pay airline prices for the ultimately regurgitated ice pops, I would have passed.
To anyone who tells me that Europe's health care is sub-par compared to ours, I say how about the time I was wheeled to my car holding smelling salts not two hours after having an organ removed right here in the good ole U.S. of A. I had to pay BIG BUCKS for that one, and I didn't even get to take home my gallbladder.
To be frank, I didn't expect to get so many bills from so many places. I mean, I had one single baby. I was kind of hoping for an all-inclusive price.
It should have been a hint that things were not going to go smoothly back when I got a call from the hospital collections office asking to speak to Ethan Etheridge. I said you sure can speak to him, but he probably won't answer since he's only two months old. When the caller — who was amazingly unsheepish after that major gaffe — verified that I was Ethan's mom, she said we were about to go into collections for a bill I hadn't seen yet. When she asked if I'd like them to put the claim in to the insurance they had on file, I should have just hung up.
So here I am, with Cody's cold wet nose up my butt and a bill for over $500 from the hospital in my hand. Not a great start to the evening. Shortly thereafter, when Noah asked if Ethan had poopy, I didn't hesitate to plant my nose in his diapered rear, without a hint of irony no less.
Then I gave Cody a hug, for all he's had to put up with.